


Falling

by goingdownsinging



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-31
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-07 02:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingdownsinging/pseuds/goingdownsinging
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry gets a ‘G’ tattooed on his shoulder and gets on a plane to LA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling

Harry gets a ‘G’ tattooed on his shoulder and gets on a plane to LA. Nick barely has enough time to slip Harry a plastic V&A bag with the neatly wrapped Bowie t-shirt he bought and mumble a tired “where are you going” before Harry closes the front door of Nick’s flat behind him. Nick is confused, but too tired to either be angry or upset as he changes out of his baby blue suit and crawls into bed.

It’s not that Harry doesn’t want to spend his week off holed up in Nick’s apartment, drinking red wine and never fully getting dressed. He just can’t, not right now. Getting that letter tattooed on his shoulder had been a spur of the moment decision and it felt right, seemed to make sense at the time, but then Louis had seen his tattoo and Niall had commented on it, and then their publicist had called and Harry felt trapped and needed to get out.

Next thing Harry knows, he’s stumbling off a plane and goes straight to the beach. He has a few friends looking after him and offering him drinks and words of wisdom, but he’s never felt lonelier. He goes thrift shopping and picks up a few t-shirts of pop stars that have reached their expiry date and knows there’s a joke in there somewhere, knows that Nick will love them. Next Harry finds himself buying a pair of new boots, because Nick’s been complaining about how old and disgusting Harry’s brown suede ones are looking these days, and then when he orders ice cream, he picks the most outrageous flavour on the menu, if only because he knows that’s exactly what Nick would go for.

Harry is lonely and wants everything to remind him of Nick, who’s far away and working non-stop. He knows neither of them would ever admit it, but Harry’s missing Nick and knows it’s all his fault. He shouldn’t have gotten that tattoo and taken their relationship public, if this thing between them is anything at all. They don’t talk about feelings since actions speak louder than words, after all, but the letter inked on Harry’s skin crossed a line he didn’t know was there until he messed up.

Leaving the country was the right thing to do, Harry kept telling himself as he finished another bottle of beer at the side of hotel’s pool. His publicist wasn’t very happy with his public declaration of love and affection, and even his best friends were seemingly doubting his sanity. Taking a step back was good, perfect, even, and Harry would get a week to breathe and convince himself that the letter on his shoulder is another tribute to his sister.

He almost succeeds until he finds himself alone in his hotel room at three in the morning, spread out on the sheets and unable to sleep. His thumb hovers on the phone number on the screen of his phone until he finally pressed down, letting out a deep, shaky breath.

“Harry? You alright? Isn’t it the middle of the night over there?” comes Nick’s reply only seconds later and Harry closes his eyes, uses his free hand to rub over the tattoo he knows is right there.

He nods and only then realises that Nick can’t possibly see him. “No,” Harry finally states and it’s the truth, honest and bare and he’s feeling vulnerable and alone, no one to hold his hand and tell him it’ll all be worth it in the end. “I want to come home,” he chokes out and didn’t know how badly he wanted to be in London until he heard Nick’s voice.

“Hold on….” And then he can hear Nick moving around the flat, searching for the remote and turning the volume of the tv down. “Why’d you go in the first place?”

Harry shouldn’t be surprised at the question, because Nick has never avoided confrontation. He brings out the best and worst in Harry and right now, he’s asking about feelings they shouldn’t have to talk about. Only he’s Harry Styles off of One Direction and it means nothing is fair in love and war.

“I had to,” he offers as some form of explanation, but he knows it won’t do. “I’m not supposed to want to be with you.”

Nick doesn’t know what to say for a good few minutes and Harry doesn’t blame him. Nick’s not known for always colouring between the lines, and no matter how much they want and love each other, Nick would never put Harry’s career at risk.

“Come home,” is all Nick says. “Please, just….come home, alright? I’ll pick you up at Heathrow tomorrow if you let me know when you’re arriving. It’ll be alright, okay?”

Harry feels himself nodding again and can feel the lump that’s been stuck in his throat ever since Nick picked up the phone. He’s miserable in his fancy hotel room and has half a suitcase full of newly bought clothes and stupid souvenirs he knows Nick will love. There’s a tattoo on his shoulder that’ll never disappear and maybe it’s time to change life as he knows it forever.

“I’ll be there tomorrow,” Harry says in confirmation, the last three words before he ends the call being barely above a whisper. “I love you.”

 

Harry doesn’t want to show his publicist, boss, paparazzi and everyone else involved how in love he is with another man. This isn’t a phase or a publicity stunt and he’s got nothing to prove. Harry is miserable without Nick and is sick and tired of the pressure put on his shoulders to live a lie in order to appeal to teenage girls. He can’t be a role model, someone to look up to like this.

He stumbles off a plane the next day, exhausted but his eyes bright as he spots Nick and his bright pink hair in the middle of a small crowd. Harry doesn’t check for photographers or camera phones as he trots over to Nick and wraps his arms tightly around the other man’s body. He’s past the point of caring and all he knows is that he never wants to feel as lonely again as he was in LA. Nick presses a kiss to Harry’s lips, then his cheek as he holds him close, murmuring into his ear. “Welcome home, love.”

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on Tumblr (andialwaysknew) a few days ago, so if it sounds familiar, you now know why! Thank you for reading! :)


End file.
